also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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