I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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