Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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