But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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