True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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