I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize