Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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