if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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