She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
