you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The beer is more important than you right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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