his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
