I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
