the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
