Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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