I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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