Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
