She just used a chaser for red wine.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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