Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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