Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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