Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
