i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
