My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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