Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
