Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm passing your future prison.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
