and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
