I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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