The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
