Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize