let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
