I am puke
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
