just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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