And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
