it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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