I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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