last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
