take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
3pm strippers are depressing
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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