I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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