Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
