Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
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i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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