Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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