I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Operation Purity has been aborted
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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