nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
