Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
