Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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