I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He shit in the fireplace
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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