Apparently you make a good broom.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
