I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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