You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There's always time for handjobs
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
