Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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