he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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