my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
