today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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