listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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