He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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