I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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